PT Journey into Nyx “Rap” Up

If you’re old school, then you know the format

1998, David Bachmann broke that:
A tournament report in the form of a rap
So get the beat started and begin to clap

This run began at the start of the year
Quit my job to keep the schedule clear
Fever brought me back like never before
Had one goal: Q for the Pro Tour

Top 8 a GP, and win a PTQ
Atlanta, Portland, I’m coming for you!
Before we get to that, let’s have a look see
At the things that define my Magic history.

Started back in Dallas, in 1996
Created Team SPED, we played just for kicks

BDM said I was the bane of his existence
Little trouble maker with serious persistence
SPEDs: good times, always with consistence
Creating lingo words for every instance

Like Chapin said, SPEDs broke Magic lingo
“Mise,” “Tings,” “Gas” when you win at bingo
“Yo Dude, Kart?” when you want to game
“Nah, that’s Kold!” when you don’t feel the same
Get the title “Best” when you do it the most
Gotta call “Table!” even when you’re the host

My favorite trick the team ever pulled
Happened when I was sixteen years old
Prematurely yell “PAIRINGS ARE UP!!”; now there’s a hoard
Everyone follows the crowd up to the pairings board
Not a lot of room; NYC; Neutral Ground
And people get mad because “I PLAYED THEM LAST ROUND!!”

Although I was young, speaking relatively
Since fifteen years old I played competitively
Top 8 of Worlds ’99 Japan
But leveling up was my new game plan
Got a good job after 4 years of college
Gained experience and acquired knowledge
Working so hard, I began to tweak
2008, Magic fever at its peak
Was able to compete for about a year
Memphis Worlds Finals, I do hold dear
But then it was time to go back to work
Skipped some PTs and felt like a jerk

Back to present day, Q’d for the PT
“Mise” is what everyone said to me

Here’s a little lesson on how to use “Mise!”
You call it out when it’s a nice surprise,
When you don’t care, or things go your way;
Misers be mising like every day.

Speaking of mise… it’s a dream come true
Pantheon invites me into their crew
Fantastic news, so happy I could scream
So let me tell you about the rest of the team:

From the West Coast, here comes Matt Sperling
Arrives at the house with information swirling
No time to prep, work held him back
Still came to fight, still came to attack

Andrew Cuneo, aka Gainsay
Brewed the BUG shell we decided to play
Of the trollers in the house, he was one of the kings
Haven’t seen so many trolls since The Lord of the Rings!

Owen T, +EV like the Casino Binions
Not afraid to express hyperbolic opinions
“That draft pick you made was god awful bad!”
That’s why he’s the kid, that’s why they call him O-raaaaaaaat.

Tommy Martell, aka Richard Thomas
Discovering his first name didn’t exactly calm us.
Still the tightest Tommy since the old school Guevin
No filter, brutally honest, love him like my brethren

Staying back at home, you can’t forget Zvi
Brewing decks for laughs and a “hehe”
Couldn’t make the PT, but still felt like a win
Had his first baby boy, so congrats to him!

Then you got Reid Duke, the Golden Boy
Black/green guru, he came to destroy
Add a little blue for Prognostic Sphinx
Practice some games, work out the kinks
He was overdue for his first Top Eight
A stand-up guy; career sure to be great!

William Jensen the Third: absolute master
Always snaps the right decision, never seen it faster
He still “had all these” GP Top 8s
Absolutely, one of the all-time greats
Crushing opponents, leaving them in sobs
“Sorry buddy, but you were just Lou Dobbs.”

Patrick Chapin, the Innovator
Winning the PT, and deck creator
Blew through the tourney like it was a breeze
Defeating his opponents with the greatest of ease
Drink so much Champagne, your head will spin
And that’s how he rolls after a PT win

Gabriel Nassif, Papa Hat is the best
The smile on his face, it does not rest
He’s never afraid to point out a mistake
Or to discuss when he has a different take
On the Pro Tour, he is the best of friends
Absorbing his Magic wisdom pays dividends

Gaudenis Vidugiris, BBall MVP
Presence in the paint like on the PT
Strong to quite strong, some might say
Meticulously always going for right play

Then there’s Sam Black, the mad scientist
Building crazy decks you never thought could exist
But it’s hard to know for which he brews more:
Sick-ass decks or food at the store

Next up is “Jegles”; cool, calm, and collected
Brand new format, came ready to dissect it
The most easygoing guy I have ever met
This is a man who does not fret
Never afraid to run the CCG
Even for fun with negative EV
Late to dinner, everyone had a full meal
He had a lemonade and was still ready to deal!

Of course there’s Kai, the German Juggernaut
Total Pro Tour wins will likely never be caught
At Pantheon house, he cooks an amazing dinner
Magic Pro Tour’s biggest money winner
After all these years, still as tight as can be
Making sick plays that you didn’t even see!

Then there’s Jonny Magic, what more can I say
Still has the skill and fire to this very day
More Top 8s than you can count on two hands
Father of the Pantheon, his resume expands
GHG, the Magic charity
Helping kids get that college degree
Everything he does seems like nature secondary
Like Barney Stinson he’s… wait for it… Legendary!

On to the PT, time for draft one
This draft is for keeps, not “just for fun”
First-pick first-pack, Silence the Believers
Giddy like school girls for their Justin Biebers

Then I’m passed 4th pick Feast of Dreams
Pick the signal up, black is open it seems!
Pair it with red: removal and creatures
This draft has all the necessary 3-0 features

Time for round 1, time to set the stage

Win the match siding Pinnacle of Rage

Round 2 opponent, Dictate of Heliod
Hard to defeat this enchantment of the God
But I sneak on by, bestow red Emissary
Gotta block with two, he cannot parry

The final draft round is versus Shuhei
Leaves UU open, Nullify is his play
My creatures and Auras require his approval
So sorry my friend, you can’t counter removal
Late game is close, he’s still drawing live,
That is until I cast Silence with the strive.

On to Constructed, the deck is pretty tight
Overall I think we built it mostly right
Maybe too many cards against the black aggro deck
But like Busta Rhymes, Drown in Sorrow “Got you all in check!”

Played against Junk in the 4th and 5th Round
My removal putting creatures 6 feet under ground
Sometimes exiled, which is better for me
Put creatures where Erebos’ Whip can’t see
I have to play my friend GCB
It was pretty close, it went to three
He stumbled on land, and I knew what to do
Take Courser of Kruphix, and attack for two

Then I play Naya two times in a row
It was going as bad as it could possibly go
Xenagos, Ajani, and Elspeth too
Renewable sources of high value
Stormbreath Dragon attacks with haste
In the bin is where Kiora is placed
Close game three vs. Brian Braun-Duin
But Revel of the Fallen God was a top deck win

Carlos Moral in the 8th round
Playing Mono-Black, his Sorrows were Drowned
Enchanting creatures can be risky as you know
Silence also exiles creatures you bestow

I went 3 and 2 to finish the day
Not exactly the best, but a decent parlay
Still gotta do better on day number two
12-3 makes Top 8 if you also drew

Went to sleep early, got rested up;
Attack the next day like a Jackal Pup

Draft number two, ended up white/green
Bow of Nylea and creatures that are mean
Loyal Pegasus and Feral Invocation
Attackers and tricks make a lethal combination
And don’t forget, 6th-pick Ornitharch
Must be nice to be: Jamie Parke

I win the first two as quick as can be

Ray of Dissolution does more than gain 3
Lots of targets at instant speed
Can be high value in a time of need
Supply-Line Cranes flying through the air
Humbler of Mortals trampling everywhere
Setessan Oathsworn is the creature to pump
With Ghostblade Eidolon, creatures have to chump

Ken Yukuhiro I play for the sweep
Game 3, no mulligans, we both choose to keep
Comes right down to the end of the fight
I’m pretty sure he’s holding a Bile Blight
Wait for the right time is what it’s about
Nature’s Panoply is what blew him out

Back to Constructed, I was ready to go…
I look down the line, and it’s Murderers’ Row
Cifka, Chapin, and Tom Martell
Ichikawa, Wafo-Tapa, MIGHT AS WELL!

Cifka I beat in two games straight
Aggro against me just isn’t too great
Gods Willing, a response I can’t afford
So Thoughtseize slides in from the sideboard

Chapin beats me in two really quick
One was close, but the other made me sick
Even with a loss, I still feet great
I was still alive and Chapin locked Top 8!

Next in line is Tight Tommy Martell
I’m thinking this will be the mirror match from hell
Thankfully things are just going my way
I have more Sphinxes than I could physically play
Kiora ultimate, in game one
9/9 Krakens are just too much fun
Tom shook my hand and said, “Good luck bro!”
Now I just have one more win to go

Yuuki Ichikawa, another Naya Mage
We do our battle on the feature match stage
He plays Stormbreath Dragon, but forgets to attack
Slaps himself in the face, and begins to come back
Wins game one, and then in game two
Purphoros can do a lot of damage to you
Make three Soldiers, Champion of the Sun
“Master of Karate and friendship for everyone.”

Before the last round, I had to decide
ID was Silver, and a loss would hurt my pride
“You didn’t come all this way just to draw!
We want Top 8s, not just Silver, brah!”

Wafo-Tapa, another PT Champ
time to focus and tighten the clamp
Game 1 Drown in Sorrow, put him in a hole
For the rest of the match it was me in control
Courser and Kiora are hard to stop
Concedes when Ashiok takes 3 off the top

Win against Wafo! But I still needed to mise
Lo and behold, Utter-Leyton/Larson match ties!
People told me I’m a lock for Top 8
And the final announcement seals my fate
Walk on the stage, give’em all high five
Winning the Top 8 dream is still alive!

Sit down to dinner and we grab a couple beers
Reid and Chapin made it too, so it’s time to cheers!

But in the quarterfinals, I have to play Pat
I need some practice, and need it STAT
Played some games and went to sleep
Started to dream and strategize deep

Woke up the next day, itching to play
Just waiting for the Top 8 to get under way
First game is close, down to the wire
Prognostic Sphinx is a powerful flyer
He Silences the Believers with double strive
But he needed another one to stay alive
Games two and three I just couldn’t save;
No ultimate Kiora of the Crashing Wave

Even though I lost, I couldn’t be sad
Top 8 my first PT back isn’t bad!
Three Top 8s in three decades
For sure one of my best accolades
MTG: the best game ever made
By far the favorite one I’ve ever played

Gotta keep it going, at least for a while
Competing at the highest level makes me smile

I regret not always staying with the game
It’s not even about the prizes or the fame
It’s challenging yourself to be your best
Putting yourself to the ultimate test
Like Princess Bride, a battle of wits
Like Game of Thrones, where the king sits
It’s all about winning and wearing the crown
This time it was Chapin that took it down
But next time, I hope I will be me
So look for JamieP at the next PT!

Download the audio:

Produced by Spruke

twitter @Spruke and facebook.com/spruke

Video by Tim Hutchings 

Special thanks to Patrick Chapin

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